Tuesday, 9 November 2010

Warmly welcome, worthy of respect,
a social service ministration
adapted to undertaking risk
confronting chancy situations
paid well enough to accept.

Unquestioning of motivation,
non-judgemental of performance
with sympathy for inadequacy
and quietly confident reassurance
of future satisfaction.

Professional willingness to please,
refreshing in lack of modesty,
young and beautiful, no slags these,
intelligent femininity
delivering sexual therapies.
We toured Israel, we three,
you and my wife and me.
(My wife however could not guess
at my degree of stress.)
Tel Aviv passport control
saw part but not the whole.
The Hula valley soon went past
(bluethroats and cranes at last).
Mount Hermon's summit heard your voice
make Galilee rejoice.
Ma'agan Mikael impressed
the uninvited guest.
The Negev desert, Elat's shore,
En Gedi and much more
we visited and revelled in,
a trio not a twin.
To me you were as bright as day
wherever we would stay
but other people could not tell
that you were there as well.
We went and we came back still three
travelling hopefully.
Such a strange group, three in a bed -
two real, you in my head.
This city street is awash with yearning
people in the current,
jetsam in the gutters churning,
flotsam on the pavement.

No imminent fear of loss of life
but only deprivation
as displaced persons, refugees
hoping for salvation.

No aftermath of some disaster,
just a bit dejected
with levels of happiness much less
than what might be expected.

While the young are busy at work,
the old, infirm, inept,
the shameless few content to shirk
and those who overslept,

widows, widowers, husbands, wives
parade the shops bereft
to regain meaning in their lives
unsure where it was left.

Somewhere here they hope they'll make
a way out from their plight -
perhaps a chocolate bar will take
the pace of Mr Right.

That bloke dawdling by the pub
still thinking of his ex -
maybe another pint or two
will substitute for sex.

There's a couple slowly walking
towards the cosy coffee shop.
Perhaps a cup will start them talking
and save their marriage breaking up.

I, like them, am seeking love
and trawl potential partners;
I also could ask God above
for someone who likes gardeners.

I want the warmth of a partner's body,
comforting without stress,
but the warmth of a personality
is harder to assess.

Though much too old for passion now,
I'm still a mug for beauty
though trying to re-aim my bow
and answer call of duty.

I'm trying to develop a taste
for mutton over lamb
though sometimes it does seem a waste
of what I thought I am.

We all of us can make the most
of life without our spurning
experience so we can boast
this street's alive with learning.
The back of my house points south south east;
the morning sun shine through a glass door
into a room allowing me
to sunbathe naked on the floor
for an hour or so at least -
less a window, more a door
of opportunity.
Talk to the ones who love you,
confide in those that care;
boy and girl friends come and go -
parents are always there.
When I am not busy, I think of you,
sitting on a table, across a room,
unsmiling round the camp in brown or blue,
then suddenly the sunshine breaking through.

When I am not busy, I think of you,
longing to see you, hoping you will come
at reg or break or dinner or after school,
any time at all - but you never do.

I catch my breath on entering a room
or round a corner case you should be there,
making my days so long I long for sleep
to free myself from all this aching gloom.

I have been here before but long ago
with other women not as young as you.
Then I had less than they to lose,but still
the strain of longing aches as ever so.

I could have come and taken you away,
careless of consequence, a week ago
but then the shock of seeing you in that
so long expected, unexpected way

as you should be with someone of your age,
unworried by my ageing, ageless cares,
able to explore life by yourself,
unsullied by the trivia of this page !

How could you fit the clothes I foist upon you,
attired in my wearying waking dreams?
Perhaps you are sensible enough to stay away
until this mangy quarantine is through.

Knowing that this will pass as such a thing should,
I hope I have not caused you any harm
and in this passion for your precious youth
you will in later time find something good.
Just guess what he's saying now, the crazy guy.
Don't kill ! So what do I do when someone steals
my herd, burns down my house or rapes my wife ?
Turn the other cheek ? Ridiculous.
They ought to do something about that fucking Jesus.